When Seema Kapoor lately opened up about her marriage to the late actor Om Puri, what emerged was a deeply private account of betrayal, loss, and emotional survival.
In a dialog with Siddharth Kannan, she recalled that she met Om met Nandita whereas filming Metropolis of Pleasure. “Every little thing was going nice after our marriage, however that film turned my life the wrong way up… My good buddy Renu Saluja, Vidhu Vinod Chopra’s first spouse, knew in regards to the affair. However she and Sudhir Mishra and everybody else chalked it all the way down to a part. They felt that he’d get again to regular after the movie. I came upon in regards to the affair a lot later, once I was in Delhi. He referred to as me up and instructed me that he was seeing another person, and my buddies stated that he was simply in search of consideration,” she stated.
She then remembered the second her world shifted, after she may clearly perceive that he was severe about getting a divorce. “I returned to Mumbai, and the whole lot felt regular. He left town for a shoot quickly afterwards, and whereas sifting by his stuff, I found love letters. I used to be shattered. I by no means needed to divorce him, regardless of the affair. I needed to fix issues, as a result of I used to be pregnant. He knew I used to be pregnant, however this was a supply of insecurity for Nandita. She’d name him up in entrance of me,” she stated.
Seema continued, “However issues grew to become overwhelming; Puri sahab would drink an excessive amount of, and Nandita would make a scene. One evening, I made a decision to go away. I used to be three months pregnant.”
Seema’s story brings up tough questions on how girls course of abandonment, emotional neglect, and grief, particularly throughout susceptible levels like being pregnant. “Neglect consoling me. He despatched Rs 25,000 through his secretary. I turned it down, and his secretary instructed me, ‘This ego is what’s destroying you’. However what he thought was ego was simply self-respect,” she stated.
Om Puri met his second spouse Nandita whereas filming Metropolis of Pleasure (Supply: Categorical archive photograph)
So, how does betrayal throughout being pregnant affect a girl emotionally and psychologically?
Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “Being pregnant is commonly romanticised as a joyful time, however psychologically, it is likely one of the most susceptible levels in a girl’s life. Hormonal fluctuations, shifting identification, and the anticipation of a completely new function create a heightened emotional panorama. When betrayal happens throughout this era, it may be extraordinarily destabilising.”
Throughout being pregnant, he provides {that a} lady typically leans “closely on her main attachment determine” — usually her associate — for emotional safety. When that bond is out of the blue threatened or severed, it could possibly result in a deep sense of abandonment and emotional dysregulation. And this could additionally set off them to concern the way forward for the kid as effectively. This sense of concern and panic may be so debilitating that it might have an effect on the event of the kid within the womb.
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Distinction between wholesome self-respect and ego in such emotionally charged conditions
When Seema Kapoor says she refused monetary assist “out of self-respect,” it reveals one thing deeper than pleasure — it’s about reclaiming company. After experiencing betrayal, being financially or emotionally depending on the identical individual can really feel like re-exposing oneself to hurt.
“There’s a key psychological distinction between self-respect and ego. Self-respect is rooted in self-worth; it permits for boundaries that defend emotional integrity. Ego, alternatively, typically seeks validation or revenge. In Seema’s case, her choice appears extra aligned with the previous — a acutely aware transfer to protect her dignity, to not punish him. Selecting self-respect may be that freedom, exercised quietly, even defiantly, within the face of ache,” Arora states.