Rejection primarily based on look is one thing many individuals face in several walks of life — whether or not within the office, on social platforms, and even inside private relationships. However when this rejection is tied to weight, it could possibly depart lasting results on self-worth and confidence, even years later.
Shilpa Shirodkar, as soon as a number one face of Hindi cinema within the 90s, just lately recalled being dropped from one in all Bollywood’s most iconic songs, Chaiyya Chaiyya, reportedly due to her weight. Chatting with Siddharth Kannan earlier, she mentioned, “She (Farah Khan) simply mentioned that we are going to work another time as a result of they’re searching for another person. ‘You’re a little fatter’. One thing like this… I don’t even keep in mind anymore. I do know I missed it as a result of I used to be fats. I’ll all the time really feel dangerous that I didn’t get Chaiyya Chaiyya, however God gave me rather more, and he’s nonetheless giving me.”
In the meantime, choreographer and director Farah Khan additionally addressed the second, stating on her YouTube channel, “I got here to Shilpa to ask her for ‘Chhaiya Chhaiya’. However one thing will need to have occurred to her as a result of at the moment, she was at the very least 100 kgs. So I believed ‘how will she get on the prepare?’ And if she will get on, the place will Shah Rukh stand?”
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When somebody is rejected from a chance on account of their weight, how does it affect their sense of self-worth?
Neha Cadabam, Senior Psychologist and Government Director at Cadabams Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “Being turned down for a chance on account of weight can have an enduring affect on a person’s self-worth, significantly in industries the place look is usually emphasised. Such rejections can reinforce dangerous societal messages that equate bodily look with worth or functionality. Over time, this may increasingly contribute to emotions of inadequacy, self-doubt, and even physique disgrace.”
To manage, she says that it’s necessary to separate one’s identification and price from such experiences. “Acknowledging the harm with out letting it outline one’s self-image is essential. Speaking to a therapist can present a protected house to course of these emotions, problem internalized narratives, and rebuild shallowness.”
Practices like self-compassion, connecting with body-positive communities, and surrounding oneself with affirming relationships can even assist shift the main focus from look to at least one’s abilities, values, and individuality.
Is it widespread for individuals to hold the emotional weight of previous rejections for years, and the way can they transfer ahead?
Cadabam says, “Sure, it’s solely human to hold the emotional residue of sure rejections, particularly once they contact a delicate nerve like physique picture or unfulfilled aspirations. These recollections typically stick with us not simply due to the misplaced alternative, however due to what they symbolise—feeling unseen, undervalued, or judged unfairly.”
Therapeutic doesn’t imply forgetting, Cadabam stresses. “It means permitting house to grieve what was misplaced, whereas steadily making peace with it. Remedy, journaling, and inventive expression can supply methods to course of these feelings.”
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How can individuals in positions of energy be made extra delicate to how they impart such choices?
Phrases from individuals in positions of authority carry weight, says Cadabam, not simply within the choices they impart, however within the tradition they assist create. “Sensitivity coaching and open conversations about bias in hiring or casting practices will help decision-makers replicate on how their language impacts others. At a broader stage, leaders in media and leisure have a novel alternative to problem outdated norms and promote extra inclusive representations of magnificence and expertise.”