Opening up about one of the emotionally turbulent phases of his life, Aamir Khan just lately shared his deeply private ideas on searching for remedy throughout his separation from Reena Dutta.
In a dialog with Pinkvilla, he mirrored on his preliminary resistance to marriage counselling, recalling how unfamiliar and uncomfortable the method felt to him. “Jab Reena aur foremost alag ho rahe the toh uss waqt kareeban dedh saal ek marriage counselor ke paas gaye the, mera pehla expertise tha remedy, counselling ko lekar aur mujhe yaad hai ki foremost uske sakht khilaaf tha (When Reena and I have been separating, we went to a wedding counsellor for a few 12 months and a half. It was my first expertise with remedy and counselling, and I keep in mind that I used to be strongly in opposition to it),” he stated, admitting that remedy was one thing he had by no means beforehand thought-about.
Aamir additionally described the psychological blocks he carried earlier than opening as much as an expert. “Maine Reena ko bola, ‘Mujhe nahi bolna kisi unusual insaan ko ki mere kya jazbaat hain ya mera aapka rishta kya raha hai. Essential kisi ajnabee ko apne dil ki baat kaise rakhun?’ (I advised Reena, ‘I don’t wish to inform a stranger what I’m feeling or our relationship has been like. How can I share the issues of my coronary heart with somebody I don’t even know?’).”
Why do some males really feel such intense resistance or discomfort towards the concept of remedy?
Jai Arora, counselling psychologist and co-founder of Kirana Counselling, tells indianexpress.com, “We, as Indians, are raised within the tradition of ‘ghar ki baat ghar mein hello rahni chahie (What occurs at residence, ought to keep at residence).’ That means that the non-public conversations are to not be shared with the surface world, with the concern of being judged, seemed down upon and worst ‘nazar’.”
On high of this, he says that males are raised in cultures the place emotional privateness, self-reliance, and stoicism are subtly or overtly inspired. And being a “lady,” crying or being susceptible are thought-about non-masculine. “For a lot of males, speaking about ‘jazbaat’ (feelings) is deeply private and generally shame-laden, particularly if emotional expression was by no means modeled or validated throughout upbringing. Moreover, remedy can really feel like surrendering management—sharing ache with somebody unfamiliar, risking judgment, or fearing that one’s actuality could be reframed in unsettling methods,” notes Arora.
In conditions like a separation, what position can counselling play in serving to people acquire perception?
Counselling isn’t nearly reconciliation, particularly throughout or after a separation. Arora explains, “It helps folks replicate on their patterns, emotional blind spots, unmet wants, and generally, unstated guilt. It permits companions to grieve the loss whereas additionally re-examining who they have been within the relationship and who they’re changing into outdoors it.”
It turns into more and more difficult if youngsters and co-parenting are concerned. “However counselling post-separation takes extra particular person type, laden with introspection and retrospection. It will possibly quietly however powerfully nudge folks towards accountability — not within the authorized sense, however within the emotional one,” concludes the knowledgeable.