Breakups can convey out a spread of feelings inside an individual — grief, resentment, reflection, and generally even humour.
In a 2007 interview with journalist Anil Thakraney, shortly after her much-publicised break up with Shahid Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor Khan supplied a glimpse into how she seen Shahid’s life post-breakup. Whereas she acknowledged that “generally the dynamics don’t come collectively in the long run,” she additionally made a comment that stood out for its blunt honesty.
When requested about Shahid showing lonely and heartbroken after their breakup, she dismissed the thought with a contact of sarcasm. “He doesn’t appear that manner, he appears to be wooed by the feminine stars. He appears to be a girls’ man! So I don’t find out about him being depressed and lonely,” she stated.
Whereas Kareena finally wished him happiness, her response raises questions on post-breakup perceptions, and the way we generally course of ache by means of defensiveness or humour.
So, why do folks typically use sarcasm or humour when talking about an ex — can this be a coping mechanism to masks deeper emotions?
Sonakshi Bhargava (PhD), psychologist and founder at Psychological Well being with Sonakshi, tells indianexpress.com, “As a therapist, I typically see people use sarcasm or humor when discussing an ex-partner, and this will certainly be a coping mechanism. Humor can function an emotional buffer, permitting somebody to discuss painful recollections with out absolutely partaking with the underlying damage, anger, or disappointment. Sarcasm, specifically, could assist folks regain a way of management or superiority in conditions the place they as soon as felt weak. These expressions can masks unresolved emotions reminiscent of grief, rejection, or lingering attachment.”
Whereas they might present short-term aid or social ease, she provides, over-reliance on humour can “hinder emotional processing and therapeutic.” She says, “In remedy, I gently discover what lies beneath the laughter or sarcasm, creating area for purchasers to acknowledge and course of their real feelings. Recognising these protection mechanisms is usually step one towards deeper emotional understanding and transferring ahead in a wholesome, genuine manner.”
How do post-breakup perceptions, like assuming an ex is ‘transferring on too quick,’ have an effect on one’s therapeutic course of, and what function does ego play in these interpretations?
Publish-breakup perceptions, like pondering an ex is ‘transferring on too quick,’ can deeply influence emotional therapeutic. “These ideas typically stem from uncooked feelings and unprocessed grief fairly than details. When somebody feels left behind, it might probably set off self-doubt, jealousy, or a way of inadequacy, making it more durable to maneuver ahead. The ego performs a robust function right here — it craves validation and struggles with the thought of being changed or forgotten. This could result in distorted interpretations of an ex’s actions, fuelling emotional turmoil and delaying closure. What’s typically ignored is that everybody heals in another way; one particular person’s tempo doesn’t invalidate one other’s expertise. Recognising this helps shift the main focus inward, towards private progress and emotional readability. As an alternative of feeding the ego’s want for comparability, therapeutic occurs once we honor our personal timeline and emotions with out judgment, permitting area for self-compassion and real restoration,” states Bhargava.