Hema Malini and Dharmendra have accomplished 45 years since their wedding ceremony ceremony this 12 months. Their decades-long relationship has stood out not only for its longevity but additionally for its unconventional dynamic.
Dharmendra, who was already married to Prakash Kaur and had 4 youngsters together with her, continued to reside along with his first household even after marrying Hema. Regardless of the bodily distance, Hema has usually spoken about being content material together with her life and the way in which issues unfolded.
In an earlier interview with Lehren, Hema spoke about their uncommon residing association and her emotional acceptance of it. “I’m not feeling dangerous about it, or sulking about it. I’m proud of myself. I’ve my two youngsters, and I’ve introduced them up very effectively. In fact, he (Dharmendra) was there, all the time. In all places.” Whereas acknowledging that “nobody likes staying away from their partner,” she added that “typically in life, circumstances are such that one has to just accept the scenario.” She additionally mirrored that though each lady needs a whole household, “typically the scenario is such that issues pan out in a different way,” and she or he is pleased with the life she constructed together with her daughters, Esha and Ahana.
However, how do some people discover peace and achievement in relationships that don’t match typical fashions of marriage or cohabitation?
Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “As a psychologist, I usually witness how actual contentment doesn’t all the time stem from conventional constructions. Many individuals come to grasp that proximity doesn’t equal intimacy, and distance doesn’t all the time imply absence of affection. What Hema says displays a quiet inside evolution — selecting presence with oneself over eager for what would possibly by no means be.”
Individuals usually discover peace once they cease forcing life to match a really perfect and begin residing what’s actual. Achievement, in these instances, isn’t loud — it’s the calm that comes from realizing who you might be, from accepting your story, and from now not needing your relationship to reflect society’s script as a way to really feel complete.
How can acceptance of complicated household dynamics contribute to emotional resilience?
“This type of acceptance is layered,” Raj says, including that It’s not about pretending one thing doesn’t damage—it’s about making room for each the ache and the practicality. “In remedy, I’ve seen how emotional resilience begins the second folks cease preventing with their actuality. Not as a result of they’ve given up, however as a result of they’ve chosen to reside with readability.”
Hema’s phrases carry the burden of somebody who has stopped explaining her life to others. She is aware of the circumstances, has lived them, and nonetheless chooses peace over resentment. That sort of acceptance protects psychological well being—it softens resistance, reduces emotional exhaustion, and brings again a way of company, even when life isn’t perfect.
What position does self-reliance play in sustaining private identification and energy inside non-traditional marriages?
Self-reliance isn’t simply sensible — it’s deeply psychological. Raj notes that in non-traditional marriages, particularly these the place emotional or bodily assist is restricted, “self-reliance turns into the thread that holds every little thing collectively.” And it’s not constructed in a single day — it’s formed by way of repeated moments of exhibiting up when nobody else does.
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Girls like Hema discover their identification not simply in who they love, however in who they’ve needed to change into as a way to carry their households ahead. “That satisfaction in elevating youngsters alone isn’t vanity — it’s acknowledgment. It’s saying: I didn’t simply survive this life — I formed it. And in doing so, I by no means misplaced myself. That’s actual energy. And it usually goes unseen till somebody says it out loud,” concludes the professional.